"Theres a fire softly burnin, suppers on the stove".....

Remember that ole John Denver tune? As i sit and write, its playing quietly, not so loud to wake some already slumbering types, but loud enough to evoke some thought surrounding a situation an old acquaintance of mine is currently expieriencing. Ill call him "Herm".
First a bit about "Herm". He's a well-known Blacksmith, an artisan who's work you may have seen from time to time on display at some the finer craft events and western heritage gatherings. He's a Farrier, so well thought of in his circles that he had been commonly called upon to foster clinics, and to contribute his written word in many publications pertinent to this craft. He's also a published Canadian Author and a High-school shop teacher amongst several other talents, that all seem to revolve about the service of others. Oh, and theres one more thing,
He's Homeless.
You see, like so many of us, Herm was a family guy.Wife, some kids, a rented farm where they all got about the business of living life in general. Coffee round the kitchen table in the morning, supper at six, all very normal to take for granted.
Then one day, it all changed.
 Herm's missus, has an issue with collecting animals (horses). It became so much of a problem , that eventually , in spite of Herms attempted intervention, the very predictable occured and the family was presented with a reality that promissed immediate and permanent financial hardship.Something needed to be done , NOW.
When Herm spoke to his wife in terms of timely distribution of the animals to save the well being of the family, her response was so violent, that he ended up in the emergent care room with a busted nose, and a couple of black eyes. The gal was charged,and a No-Contact order put in place to stop these two from going down this road again. That night, Herm was allowed access to his home for one last time, to gather a few personal effects, some clothes etc. He was also afforded 20 bucks, and a hotel room in the town nearest to his rented farm. That was nearly a month ago and every night since has been spent sleeping in a late model Prius.
Showering is accomplished at a local gym,where Herm says hes thankful to able to work-out, and off alot of the anxiety that his current situation has brought him. Laundry? what few items he has are cleaned at a local truck stop that has some laundry machines. Now, if youre at all like me, you cant help but wonder how a man this established, is spending nights jamming his 6 foot plus frame into the back of a hybrid compact. Doesn't he have friends, or family he can couch surf with for a bit?Why doesnt he rent himself a little apartment, or cheap hotel room? All valid questions that i had as well. You see, when you love someone who has an addictive / destructive disease, you do all you can to keep things together for as long as you can, hoping and waiting against the day when they see the err of theire ways, seek the appropriate help they need and we all live happily ever after. If only. By the time her disease, and it IS a disease, reached its current manifestation, financial constraints, and family relations had all been damaged beyond repair. End result?, No family support for someone who with best intention over supported a sickness.
I contacted  Herm through a common friend and he said yes, he remembered me, remembered my horse, and remembered my family. He asked how the horse was doing, and secondly, how I was doing., something i chalked up to someone who's work  was his identity, not just something he did. My dad was like that, absolutely invested in everything he did regarding his work. an admirable trait that rarely exsists anymore. As our conversation continued, i told Herm i was aware of his circumstance and was there anything i could do to help? Regardless of what was offered, it was all politely declined." No thanks ill be fine" was repeated a few times before i wished him well and told him that a mind change was a simple call away, even if it just meant a chat or a coffee. Before we hung-up, i asked him what his next move was going to be, he told me he wasnt sure as he'd exhausted all leads that he thought would be available to assist him.
Unless you Havent read a newspaper in the last 30 years, you most likely are aware that spousal abuse is a common societal issue, and that many groups exsist to assist victims in theire times of need and escape, that is, unless you are a man. Even though the gender nuetral title of "spousal abuse" purports an equality in access to critical services, this is far from the reality. Herm had either visited in person or called nearly every social service related support system he could find in the book and on the net. He was repeatedly told that his best and only option was to head down to the drop in center, or perhaps the YMCA, but not to get his hopes up as the cold weather has resulted in larger than normal crowds at both places. At one point, Herm found himself gathering hope as a government worker informed him that they could help him find a place to live. Imagine his dissapointment when he went to the appointment at the agreed upon time, waited an additional 2 hours to speak to someone, and ultimatley was told if he wanted the assistance, he would have to sacrifice his employment at a small out of Calgary High-school, and move into the city, where he would be expected to find work. "Futility, thy name is government!":
So heres the big Ironic wrap-up;
The gal with the psychological disorder, who destroyed the family finances, tore a father away from his children, and left him with a busted nose, has a warm comfortable bed to sleep in each night. She has access,at no charge to herself, to counselling, financial, legal, AND psychological services. ( she has as yet afforded herself none of these offered assistances). Herm, on the other hand, has a Prius, that he is now struggling to make the payments on. If he loses the car, his homlessness will take on a whole new meaning.
So, there you have it. Gentlemen, as you gaze out upon all that you may have amassed by the sweat of your brow, perhaps sipping a fresh cup of brew, Give a thought to old Herm, and perhaps a quick acknowledgement to the old "There but for the grace of God go I" adage.
As i look at the little widget at the top corner of the computer, it's indicating -29 with the breeze.
Stay warm Herm, i hope that Prius has a good heater, and your finances hold out long enough for you to buy gas to run it..
"What say you Irricana"?